Canada hates me

Canada hates me. After the fiasco two years ago, I should have had some idea.

On that fateful trip, at 8 months pregnant and after an extremely long, stressful travel day full of cancelled flights, rebooked flights, slippery roads, reduced trains, defective airplanes, repeated de-icing and a 6 hour delay, I was sent to the Immigration office upon arrival in Canada at 3 in the morning, because I was travelling on my British passport, not on my (long-expired) Canadian one. Apparently (all evidence online to the contrary,) you DO in fact need to enter Canada on your Canadian passport if you are Canadian. They gave me a warning. They put the warning on my file. Sufficiently chastened, I got a Canadian passport a few months later. I thought the troubles were over. 

But no! Christmas 2012, all ready to head out to meet my Dad in arrivals, Santa hat jauntily perched on The Little Ninja's head, we get redirected into the Customs line. For a baggage check. FML. Seriously. Canada hates me.

Although, it also doesn't. The customs guy who checked our stuff COULD have given us an $800 fine. Luckily, he just gave us a warning. Apparently, even if the food you have with you is totally allowed (like chocolate, which no self-respecting country would ever deny you), you STILL have to declare it on your entry form. Even if you're sure. Just declare it. Save yourself $800. Or a warning. :) 

Skating

I've been trying to come up with things to do while we're in Canada. While there is no lack of choice in Mississauga where my dad lives, I'm still trying to find anything worthwhile in Sarnia, where my mom lives. They have no indoor playgrounds at all or family-oriented... well, anything, really. So I've been praying for snow and searching harder and more creatively. And found skating. Sure, The Little Ninja only just learned to walk a couple of months ago, but this cool website called Baby Skates sells (as you would guess) skates for babies. They look like old-school learn-to-walk shoes (like I had when I was a baby) with blades. Cool. Skating times aren't listed online for the three local skating rinks, but I'm sure I could find out when I get there.

But what about when we get home? I'm not forking out $100 for skates TLN can only use while we're in Canada! The Netherlands is a skating nation, or so they claim to be. Their most popular winter sport is skating, no question. When it's cold enough to freeze the canals, the whole country drops whatever they are doing to go skating. Speed skating is well covered on TV and some of the country's most well-known athletes are world-champion speed skaters. It appears to be a huge sport here. Obviously a country with such a passion for skating should be covered in arenas.

Imagine my surprise when a Google search revealed there to be a total of 4 (FOUR!) arenas IN MY PROVINCE. There are two within reasonable driving distance, but, as you know, we don't actually have a car yet. This is ridiculous. How is this even possible? Does this alleged love of skating only manifest when the canals freeze over, disappearing days later with that same ice? Natural ice is definitely a big thing here. But is skating in the Netherlands really restricted to the - maximum - 20 days a year you can skate outside on the canals?! There were (and still are, in fact), 2 rinks (one arena) within walking distance of my dad's house. A (seasonal) outdoor rink is also walkable. There are no less than 12 arenas in his city. Nearby Toronto has 81 recreational skating rinks! 81! As I mentioned above, even Sarnia has 3 arenas (plus 4 other skating rinks, totalling 7)! Yet in the professed 'skating nation' of the Netherlands, there are only 25 places to skate recreationally in the whole country!

Seriously. I'm appalled. To be fair, the fun arena here is open pretty much the whole day (unless someone rents the whole rink at which point you're screwed), but it still costs €7.50 for adults and €6 for kids. This might be why people only skate when it's free, outside. It's only $3.50 and $2.80 in Mississauga (respectively). Hmmm. Still, it's not looking good for our activity schedule in Canada; if I don't buy the skates, we can't go at all. I suppose this also assumes that I will be buying skates there too, or again, no deal. Hmmm. 

***This just in*** a friend of mine says they sell adjustable blades here at the Hema for under €15. Definitely worth taking a look at. They could just save Christmas. 
***AND! Ordered online for delivery to the store only €10.80! Ha! Now for me...***

The Hobbit

I am itching to go see this movie. I am rereading the book right now (I seem to have forgotten much of the story other than that Bilbo finds a ring in a cave and robs a dragon) and I have already bought reserved-seating tickets to the IMAX 3D showing on Sunday at 1:30 p.m. with two of my friends. I have to stipulate p.m., because there are also late night showings. They start tonight. And I want to go. Despite not being finished the book yet and despite already having tickets, my sneaky inner Middle Earth fan is scheming ways to see the movie sooner. I have given up hope of going tonight. I really can't go tomorrow, either. But if I finish up my work early on Thursday, I could totally get to the IMAX 3D showing at 12:45 p.m., which finishes at 3:49 p.m. and still be home before The Recyclist picks up The Little Ninja from daycare. It is alarming just how appealing I find this little scheme. I haven't been this excited for a movie since...  well, possibly since LotR: Return of the King. ;)

SYTYCD finale

Just for good form, I'll mention that I'm satisfied with the So You Think You Can Dance Finale last night. Since the people I wanted got into the final, however, I wasn't quite as invested in who won. Ultimately, it was Frederic, which I think was a good choice. Although Vivian was clearly the better dancer, I don't think she'll have any trouble getting work as a dancer after the SYTYCD live tour winds down. Frederic was good too, but showed a lot more improvement and growth over the course of the show, and I think he could better use the prize (particularly the dance schooling abroad), as Vivian is really already polished and though she said she wanted to go to New York to study at Alvin Ailey's studio, I don't think she needs it. And I also think that if she decides to do that, she'll go regardless whether she won or not. Frederic, having less support at home, has now found the loving support of the Netherlands and Belgium and the financial support to study dance wherever he pleases. Everybody wins!

Running

I started running again. A few weeks ago. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, to be honest. I go wicked slow, but I can keep it up for a whole half hour, which isn't bad considering I quit running when I got pregnant in 2010. So to celebrate my reentry into the sport I've been looking at races for the spring. Sure, right now I can barely get round 3 km in half an hour, but I'm confident that will improve as long as I stick with it. As I said; I've done this before. The thing is, while I know I can be ready for a 5k race in the spring, the one that I want to do is 10k. In March. The City-Pier-City Run in The Hague. Which, technically, is doable, but realistically, I don't think I want to push myself that hard. I like races. And the best way to motivate myself to do more races and continue is to have a good experience. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. So destroying myself to get around the 10k is quite possibly a far worse idea than confidently finishing the 5k. Even though the 5k race is just a square loop and the 10k race covers a nice section of city. <sigh> there's always the next year, right? (By which time I'll likely be training for the full half-marathon if all goes well.)

Besides, there are other 10k races later in the season that I could probably do with more confidence. There's the Royal Ten in The Hague at the end of May, for example, and the Ladies Run in Rotterdam in early June. Both of these also have 5k races if I totally suck in the new year. But they both also (like the CPC) want you to register already. Already! There's also a rather frightening picture of the Ladies' Run in Rotterdam in which all of the runners are wearing pink. Eep! Is that a requirement? Because I don't do pink. And I'd hate to register just to get disqualified for my clothing!

So. Should I go for the 10? Or the 5? To be completely honest, I've never run a 5k before. 7.5k, 10k, 15k and half-marathon (21.1k), yes, but never 5. Maybe it's time to give it a shot. What do you think?

My first gingerbread house

I bought a gingerbread house kit from IKEA because a. I love IKEA. b. I love swedish gingerbread. c. It has always seemed like a fun thing to build. 

Upon opening the kit, however, I found that, unlike IKEAs other construction kits, this one didn't include any way to attach the walls and roof and chimney together. It also didn't include any decorations. JUST THE GINGERBREAD. IKEA fail. 

I briefly considered just eating the gingerbread. Mmmm... Maybe just the chimney? It doesn't needs its chimney. Ahem.

By this point, however, I was determined that this was going to be the family Christmas bonding experience of 2012, so I went out for more ingredients and tried to figure out when the hell we would be able to put it together. 

I note here, possibly echoing earlier sentiments, that candy canes are not available in the Netherlands. Certainly not the proper peppermint ones, anyway, and most definitely not before December 6th, when all the Sinterklaas stuff is instantly replaced with all things Christmas. 

I mixed up a batch of icing and wrangled The Little Ninja into his space-egg-chair last Saturday afternoon. I started putting the walls together and realized two things: a. this was going to take all day and b. The Little Ninja wouldn't wait that long. He needed distraction. And, with a table covered with gingerbread, icing and decorations, distraction was easy to find. I slathered icing on one of the roof boards and gave TLN sprinkles and tiny marshmallows and things to put on the icing. 

Haha. The Little Ninja is now just a bit past 21 months - still a fair ways from two. His comprehension of the task/interest in cooperating/idea of fun was not decorating the roof. As I should have expected, he was far more interested in just eating all the decorations. <sigh>

So while I struggled to hold the walls up while the icing was setting, The Little Ninja binged on sugar. Leaving a half-assembled house, an over-energetic toddler and a single roof-side covered in icing with smeared finger streaks rather than decorations. The walls reasonably stable, I moved on to the roof. Or, at least, I tried to. TLN was not having it. I was stealing his candy! And whoever said something was like stealing candy from a baby clearly had a younger child in mind. Tantrum! I quickly substituted the other roof panel and went on with my construction.

A second tantrum erupted when I needed to complete the roofing job. Come on kid; you know what a house looks like - you can see I'm building one and that it needs the roof! Why the hysterics? I did say that was for the roof and that I needed to take it away now! <sigh>

By this point The Recyclist is going on about what a great idea this was and that I should "NEVER DO IT AGAIN" while I roll my eyes and try to hold the roof together. The Recyclist starts making dinner because this whole project is taking way too long. Possibly because he isn't helping at all, just making negative comments. 

The Little Ninja isn't particularly hungry for his nutricious dinner after all the goodies and The Recyclist berates me for that too. I continue to roll my eyes and think what a great time The Little Ninja was having and that if we don't follow The Recyclists orders to never do it again, it'll probably turn into one of those great traditions he remembers his whole life. You're only a kid once. It can't all be health and education. It should be fun too. Right?

Things I learned from this experience: Don't include The Recyclist - preferably do such crafts on Wednesdays when he is at work. Building a gingerbread house, even from a kit, is way harder than it looks. Maybe put the house together in advance, with thicker icing, and maybe some (temporary) supports. I should get more interesting stuff to put on the house, and maybe make some kind of scene for it.  

Questions based on this experience: when do you smash it and eat it?!!! Do we have to wait until Christmas? I've never done this before! Maybe it would be a good tradition to destroy it either Christmas Eve or at New Year's... What do you think?

Christmas stress

There was a time, not so very long ago, that Christmas was my favourite time of the year. And a Christmas in Canada was the be-all and end-all of Christmasses. When I first emigrated, I couldn't imagine missing even a single year. It wasn't until I was married that I had a Christmas anywhere else. We currently have a tentative agreement that we will go to Canada for Christmas every other year. The bitch of it is that my parents are divorced. So, obviously, we can only spend Christmas with one or the other. Back in the day this wasn't such an issue as they both lived in the same city and moving back and forth was easy - we could stay for a week, a day, an hour, whatever. Christmas eve and Christmas morning with my Mom, Christmas dinner with my Dad or vice versa. Now, however, there's a good three hour drive between them. A drive I'd really prefer to only make once. And this screws up the scheduling incredibly.

My parents, both Jedi Guilt Masters, somehow make me feel like shit no matter what I do. I realise that I can't please everyone, but why can't they realise that too? And suck it up. Yes, it's my 'fault' that I live so far away, but it wasn't my fault that my parents split up (ultimately causing this whole mess), or that my Mom moved to the back end of beyond (aggravating this whole mess). Yet I get all the shit. 

We pay thousands of euros and spend 12 hours traveling with a fidgety toddler, (8 hours in a plane with him on my lap, no less,) going clearly out of our way to spend the holidays there with them, then have to rent a car and drive another three hours to visit my mom, and still it's not good enough. Nobody appreciates the money and effort we fork out to do this for them. It's all about who will get us on Christmas. Seriously. It's just a day, people. A numbered square on the calendar. There is NO REASON AT ALL that we can't have a fan-frigging-tastic Christmas celebration on a DIFFERENT DAY. We don't go to church. We're not religious. What the hell difference does it make whether we see X parent on the 23rd or on the 25th or on the 28th? Call it Christmas whatever day it is, have a great time, and enjoy being all together. That's what it's about, isn't it?

Needless to say, my ideal image of Christmas in Canada is quickly eroding. Half the time it doesn't even snow anymore. And the last time we went at Christmas we only made it out of Europe because I am a very good, experienced, determined traveller (Really. I should tell you THAT story sometime). The snow kept almost everyone else wherever they were until after Christmas. And weather conditions like that are always a risk as well. Going to Canada at any time entails the constant stress of living in someone else's house and having to always be sociable and inclusive, the agreeing to see everyone because, hey, we're not there that often, dealing with an upset toddler whose schedule is out of whack (though I hope this will improve as he gets older). I used to go at Christmas because I couldn't imagine it any other way. Now I think it's mostly guilt forcing me back, because I DID decide to live in a different country. Will I ever live that down?

As you might expect from my rant above, I've come up with an alternative. An idea is growing in the back of my mind, one that my parents aren't going to like a bit: maybe we shouldn't go to Canada at Christmas at all. We can go in the summer. It's warmer, there's more to do, and no one cares which days we go where as long as both my parents get to see us. In fact, it would work out cheaper and FAR more convenient for us even to pay for them to come here, especially after this year, as The Little Ninja will then require a seat of his own. Also, as of January, we will have a car, so no one will have to rent one or suffer public transit. Then Mom can come one year, Dad can come the other, and WE don't have to go anywhere. They each get to see us at Christmas twice as often as they do now, and I don't have to stress as much (obviously this would still entail a substantial suitcase of stress because I am not a comfortable hostess, but I digress). The idea hasn't grown so big, yet, that I would consider mentioning it to my parents, but we'll see how the holidays go...

Voting works!

Remember my bitching last week about how the wrong people got eliminated on So You Think You Can Dance? Well, this week, despite having to work again, I took matters into my own hands and voted. And it worked! Maybe it's just a coincidence, and maybe other people had the very same thoughts as I did about not letting the usual voters screw up the results this time, but the very first time I vote this season, the people I voted for move on! Result: Davinia and Delano are out! Granted, I did spend €3.75 voting for the people I liked (Vivian x2, Frederic, Kalila and Denden), but it worked! Now I'm guaranteed a final with my favorite remaining dancers! Money well spent, if you ask me!

Have to remember: CAN'T WORK ON SUNDAY: SYTYCD FINAL! Stay tuned!

SYTYCD and my PVR

Here in Holland, So You Think You Can Dance airs on Sunday night and reruns on Monday. I had to work last night so I set the PVR to record it for me. I watched it tonight (Monday), before the rerun aired.

First of all, I really need to watch it live. You can't vote when you watch it later. Not that I usually do vote, to be honest, but the last performance tonight was so good... and having followed the show all season, I know what dicks the voting public can be. I would have voted for this one. Vivian and Frederic were amazing. AH.MAY.ZING.

Anyway. The contestants had just lined up for the results when my recording ended. Seriously.

But, as I said, the show is rerun on Mondays. Only the rerun was about an hour behind what I was watching so I had to stay up till 1 am just to see the end. Because I wasn't already tired or anything. Sheesh. You can't even fast-forward through the commercials. I did get to see that great performance again, though. (I have it recorded, obviously, so really I could have done that anyway, but I'm trying to be positive here.)

Right. So. We get to the end, and the stupid voters that got to watch the show the night before voted for the wrong people. In fact, I wish you could 'unvote'. I find it much easier to determine who I like least over who I like best. Too bad you can't 'vote them off the stage', as such. Then I'd DEFINITELY vote. But unfortunately...

The dorks that got to vote last night got rid of Vita and Arno instead of Davinia (who in my opinion - and the judges', incidentally - should have been gone weeks ago) and Delano. And I could do nothing but watch in horror. Davinia is a popular little rich girl, it seems, and she gets a lot of favorite votes. I bet, however, that had the voting system been reversed, she also would have gotten the most votes, and thus gotten voted out. <sigh>

To be fair, I wouldn't have picked either Vita or Arno to win, but I think they're better than D&D. Anyway. I'm finished bitching now.And next week I'm voting.

Bathroom reno 4 times more expensive than expected

Well, shit. Hoping to continue my fall buying spree, I set up an appointment to design and get a quote for the bathroom renovation that I've been wanting since we moved in here 5 years ago.

The remodelling would include demolishing the current bathroom, reworking the plumbing and electrical for a totally different layout, constructing two partitions, installating a built-in shower and toilet, a bath tub, radiator and new sink/cabinet as well as tiling the floor and walls. My naivete estimated this should cost no more than 5000 euros.

Ha. Haha. Haha.

So we worked out a list of all the hardware that design would include. The estimate for this alone was more than 12,000 euros. Ouch. And that wasn't even including installation costs, which apparently would be another 8000 on top of that, bringing the estimated total to just over 20,000 euros.

Only 4 times what I thought it would cost.

How did this enormous price difference come about?

I think it was partly because I was not looking at top quality hardware like that offered at the store I went to. I was looking at what are likely 'budget' versions of the items sold at the store I went to today. It was also partly that I was sort of thinking about doing it myself. It might also have something to do with me not really having any idea how long a professional would take to do it or how much they earn per hour.

Anyway. Changing a few items to cheaper versions and arranging my own contractor would apparently bring the price down to a mere 12,000 euros total. I told the salesman I'd have to discuss it with my husband (no.1 reason to never go with your spouse when you expect a sales pitch). Whew. Got out of there unscathed - though it did take almost a whole freaking day to investigate.

Will I pay 12,000 euros for the bathroom I designed today?

No.

Was my estimate of 5000 euros realistic?

Probably not.

I hope I win the lottery this month.

But even if that doesn't happen, I think we need to rethink this bathroom reno. I really want a bath tub and The Little Ninja is quickly growing out of his baby bath. He doesn't like showers. That might force the issue again in a couple of months. But even if we can bring it down to about 8000 euros, which is pretty possible, I think, considering the dead housing and reno market at the moment and the fact that I don't care if I have designer hardware in my bathroom as long as it fits in with the bathroom style and layout I have in mind. But even that's a lot of money. Especially if you've just recently bought 2 computers and a car.

And yet. Despite the money I've been handing out left and right in the last month, this is really something completely separate. If we just bite the bullet and do the bathroom reno, it'll be done and we'll be able to use and enjoy it every day. Like with the car. It's just coincidence that I'm bankrupting us all at once, right? After this I'll stop the spree. At least until we go to Canada at Christmas, of course.

I bought a car!

Why is my life turning into a Dora episode? I wanted to start this post with 'I did it!' and immediately the Dora conclusion song (and dance) popped into my head: We did it, we did it, we did it, yeah! That bzitch is gonna ruin everything!

So anyway, as I was saying before Dora interrupted, I did it! I made up my mind and bought a car. Can you guess which one I picked?

So right after making the decision I was all excited - I bought a car! Holy shit! Wicked! But then I went to the dealership and signed away a year's salary and suddenly felt sick. Is this buyer's remorse? does it necessarily mean that I made the worng decision? Or is it just my body recognising that it was a BIG purchase?

I hope it was the right decision. Unless it turns out to be a lemon I won't really ever know, though.

Anyway, here it is:

 Clearly, I went for the Renault Clio. The one seen above. I should have it by the end of January. Inshallah and all that. Tell me I made the right choice!

Buying a car: form or function?

I'm in the process of buying my first car (shut up; I'm only 33). The process is kicking my ass.

I'm not all that good at easy, inconsequential decisions, like what to eat for dinner or what should I wear? A big, momentous decision like this will likely take me months, if not years, at which time I'll just randomly impulse-buy something because I'm so fed up with the whole thing. OK, it might not take that long, but it will still probably end in eeny-meany-miny-moe. I'm hoping to make a more reasoned decision before it comes to that.

Deciding which car to buy has been taking up serious brain space ever since I finally got my Dutch driver's licence, back in June. I narrowed it down to the class of car and basically decided to buy new, but I got distracted by press releases about the new Renault Clio, which wasn't out yet and decided to hold off on any decision until I could see and drive that one for myself.

Fast-forward four months to now. The car has arrived at Renault dealerships across the country. I've seen the car. I've driven it. I drank the bottle of wine they gave me in celebration of the car's launch. And now I can't make up my mind which one to buy.

I didn't realise the joyous process of buying a car was so freakin' difficult.

These are the two finalists:
Renault Clio IV

Pros: GORGEOUS. Easy Isofix system for child car seats. GORGEOUS. Renault has a good (prestigious) name. GORGEOUS. Total customisation. Fancy touch-screen with GPS.
Cons: More expensive. 2-year warranty. Cheap/flimsy/weird rear door handles. Relatively big blind spot. The clutch vibrates a lot. 4 month wait on delivery.

Hyundai i20

Pros: Cheaper. 5-year warranty. No wait time. Basically no blind spot.
Cons: No 'wow' factor.

I can see that logically I should choose the Hyundai. But aesthetics aren't about logic. Clearly there's something to be said for driving in a nice car, or who would ever buy fancy sports cars? and this is my first car. It's a big deal to me. But how much is the prestige worth? Is feeling like a million bucks worth a few thousand euros and a 4 month wait?

So it's come down to form or function. Do I go for looks or reliability? Am I prepared to pay more and wait longer for the looks? Or should I give in to reason and the amazing warranty (can be extended to 7 years). That's a lot of years of not worrying about my car....

Gaaaa. What would you do?

The Little Ninja has been displaying some frustrating behaviour lately. He hits. He throws things. He doesn't listen. He whines. And most recently, he answers "no" to everything.

Are you hungry? No.
Do you want a banana? No.
What do you want? No.

I thought the whole "no" thing was part of the terrible twos. Did I miss something? I thought that was basically the definition: whiny toddlers that say "no" to everything.

So am I wrong in this belief, or it is the 'terrible twos' that are the misnomer? The Little Ninja, after all, is still  four months away from turning two. Should I expect this behaviour to get worse when he is in fact two, or is he just early reaching this infamous phase?

Either way, I clearly need to do something about his behaviour. I think it's called parenting. Help!

Dora

Somebody shoot me. I've had the Dora theme song stuck in my head for days now. Every time I think it's gone, we watch another episode. Quick! Put me out of my misery!

Do do Dora, do di Dora, do do Dora, do di Dora, Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer...

Getting back to normal

Today we put our CDs back where they belong.

Where The Little Ninja's toys had taken over the bottom shelves and where we had removed the CDs from the lowest 4 rows or so in an effort to keep them out of TLN's grabby little hands, there reside CDs once again. We need a new place for TLN's toys, of course, but I'm hoping to use this as an excuse to get rid of some of them. The Box - a really nice wooden playpen that is currently getting very little use - is slowly acquiring a horde of stuff we want out of immediate view (like the Duplo box, for example). Ultimately, however, we hope to sell that too. And then we'll just be swimming in the tidal wave of toys displaced by the missing prison-like enclosure of The Box. Cross that bridge when we get to it, though, right?

For now, I'm reveling in the freedom to actually access music by bands that start with S - Z. Bring on The Tea Party, Yellow Monkey, and X Japan!

Preparing for winter hibernation - anno 2012

I'm starting to notice a trend. I tend to buy more in the fall.

Is this some modern throwback to when we actually did have to stock stuff up to last through the winter? Is there some instinctive compulsion to buy stuff when the leaves start to change?

My compulsion isn't to stock up on food, however, as such a theory might suggest. I just buy all the other stuff I've wanted for too long: a new phone, a new computer, clothes, a new car (I hope I hope I hope).

What is it about fall that makes me want to shop? (And why do I loathe shopping the rest of the year?) Is there an internal resistance the rest of the year that somehow weakens once school goes back?

Or is it indeed the information age pre-hibernation instinct: get all the good stuff in house so you don't have to go out once the winter arrives?

Leave No Child Inside: Holland edition

I am regularly appalled by the stories I read from North America, where there appears to be an alarming trend of children no longer playing outside, be it for safety, security, comfort or other reasons. So much so that there is an actual term for the negative effect of not connecting with nature: Nature-deficit disorder. And there are social movements to take kids back outside: "Back to Nature", "Leave No Child Inside", etc. I read blogs focusing on getting kids outside and promoting independent outdoor activity. Really, it shocks me that they ever left. Such a huge part of my childhood was spent playing outside, I really can't imagine it any other way. I don't want to. Anyway, my personal concern was that such a trend had spread to Holland, where I live.

But apparently, if it has, there are steps being taken to counter it. Just today, I received an envelope in the mail full of stuff about OERRR. I don't know if the letters actually stand for anything, but it's something like Leave No Child Inside: Holland edition. It's a foundation run by Natuurmonumenten (the Society for preservation of nature monuments in the Netherlands), and its sole purpose is to get kids outside! The envelope contained: a backyard nature poster, a card with activities for kids to do outside (in the current season), and a registration/donation form and return envelope.

Step out the door, welcome to the Wild!

And on the website there's even a chant-like thing (or Call of the Wild, if you will) they've created:

Roughly translated, it goes like this:

I am wild! I wander through the woods

I am happy when I smell the wet forest after rainfall.

I chase after butterfleis, I roll down the sand dunes.

I hear the roar of the surf.

I've gotten scrapes and bruises.

I conquer my fears, trust in others, and learn to persevere.

I swim in lakes and feel the weeds brush my legs

I jump over logs and make fires.

I get out of breath.

And I relax on a bed of moss.

I'm happiest when I'm in the place I know best:

Nature

Soon I'll speak in words,

eat with knife and fork,

I won't run across the grass anymore.

I won't shriek in the backyard.

I'll sit inside. Nicely.

I won't be amazed anymore.

For now I just ask one thing:

Give me the Wild,

for as long as it lasts.

The wild is the source of the nature monuments (and the foundation for their preservation).

I think that's a pretty potent poem, actually.

Aside from the huge waste of paper that makes the environmentalist in me cringe, particularly for all the envelopes going to families with no children, where they will likely land unopened in the recycling bin, I think it's a good movement. While the tree-hugger in me mourns the paper waste, however, I recognise the need to perpetuate the environmentalist movement as well. If the next generation doesn't appreciate Nature, well, then basically we're all doomed, as far as I'm concerned. So the part of me that takes a broader look at things (sees past the paper to the pretty pictures and words on it, if you will), applauds the vision and maybe even excuses the waste. And I registered The Little Ninja right away. I look forward to the free activity cards they'll send him four times a year and the things it'll inspire us to do and discover outside. 

Speaking of stuff to do outside, they have BAREFOOT WALKING TRAILS here. They're all on the other side of the country, but that's only a couple hours' drive away. They sound so cool. And fun. And now that The Little Ninja can walk, we're totally going to go next year. I'll write more about them then. :D 

I see the light

I realized last night that I might actually, (finally,) be starting to enjoy this whole motherhood thing. While some of you might smugly be thinking 'what does she know? Her kid's only 19 months old, just wait until.... (insert horrible upcoming childhood phase)', I see it differently. I see it as the light at the end of a grim, dark tunnel.

The last couple of years have taught me some things about myself:

• I don't enjoy pregnancy
• My body does not naturally know how to give birth
• I don't enjoy taking care of a baby
• I have too little patience to deal with a baby

But that is over now. The Little Ninja isn't a baby anymore! And should we indeed choose never to have another child, that I am done with all that shit forever. (Cheer with me!)

The mind-numbingly frustrating period of crying and guessing and not sleeping, called babyhood, is over, and I see the light of childhood. The Little Ninja walks and talks. He can do stuff. He understands what I say (generally). I understand what he says (50/50, maybe). I can actually teach him stuff now. Stuff that he learns and remembers.

But it's such a huge difference, hanging out and playing with this little boy from carrying around the demanding baby. I actually like it now. It almost makes me want to have another! (Insert ironic laugh/cry.)

The Little Ninja who could...

Walk!!!

Obviously my rant a month ago about my kid not walking described a temporary frustration. And it is over! (Cheer with me!)

The Little Ninja has set off from cruising around the furniture and let go of Mama's and Papa's hands. He walks!

Canada, take 2

We've been back almost a month, so I guess I've recovered enough to talk about it. Canada was alright. I mean, parts of it were great, but parts of it still kind of sucked. I'm starting to think the 'problem' however, is just me. I mean, as the Recyclist so rationally claims, you just have to expect some obligation and guilting on a trip like that. And that's true. I understand that my family wants to see me (or, more truthfully, The Little Ninja,) as much as possible and preferably on as many occasions as possible.

I've realized that the part I have trouble with is the people. The constant visiting, and, in the end, even my own little family's constant presence. As a clear-cut introvert, I need time by myself. Without family, friends, or, I now realize, even my own husband and son. I need time ALONE. Making the trip longer to spread out visits, therefore, is not the answer. Making the trip shorter so I can get back to alone-time, well, that might be a better one. Or just taking off on the Recyclist and The Little Ninja, making my escape in the rental car. What? Just for a few days.

The Little Ninja who couldn't...

...walk. The Little Ninja, who was, admittedly, late to sit, late to crawl and late to stand, is, unsurprisingly perhaps, late to walk. (Aside: Just trying to squeeze as many commas as I could into that sentence.) While most kids walk at around 12 months, and approximately ALL of the particular kids around us are starting even earlier, The Little Ninja is still only crawling at 18 months. I am going crazy.

While it is technically still (barely) within the range of normal development, and I don't in my heart of hearts actually believe there is anything wrong with him, I am stressed out about this. I feel pressure to do something. This pressure might be entirely imagined, but it affects me nonetheless. The worst part of this, however, is that I can't do anything about it. I can reason with myself till my face turns blue that "he'll walk when he wants to," as people keep saying to try to reassure me when I mention it, but the fact is, I don't know if I believe it. I am extremely annoyed that he can't walk yet. And I can't do anything about the walking either. Because, apparently, he WILL walk when he's good and damned well ready. And nothing I do will speed that up. Believe me. I encourage him. I walk him around while he holds on to my fingers. I reach out, hoping he'll walk to me a few steps across the room this time, instead of sitting down and crawling over, like all past experience has taught me to expect. I try not to show my disappointment and I try to stifle my jealousy when the next much younger kid is already walking. I try to stay positive, even defensively spouting the positive "I guess he's just not ready yet" nonsense in response to other people's commentary, but it's all a lie. In my head I'm screaming: Walk, Child! Just stand up and walk!

Subconsciously, I probably pass on some of this pressure and frustration, though I try not to say or do anything too negative or direct. And there will be those of you reading this (haha) that no doubt believe I should just relax because everything happens in its own time. I wish I could. Really, I do. And I try. For The Little Ninja's sake. He should be allowed to develop on his own timetable. And the sweet mother in me agrees with this wholeheartedly.

The selfish adult in me, however (who may well be more forceful than that sweet mother), is sick and tired of it:

• carrying the damned heavy kid, because this is Holland, where they don't pave everything and it rains all the time so I can never set him down without him immediately getting filthy and/or soaked
• buying new pants because he's worn the knees out (while I would like to repair them, there's just no time, frankly)
• buying new shoes because he's still supposed to wear soft shoes until he's been walking well for three months and soft shoes just cannot withstand the force of his crawling (neither can the tops of his feet, which is why we put shoes on him in the first place. That and it's cold and wet)
• grimacing and washing because his hands are constantly disgusting, because he constantly has them on the ground. I firmly believe that this would be improved by walking. Perhaps not by much right away, but eventually.
• delaying. There are so many great things to do once you can walk (or at least stand up without holding on to anything). And I want to do them with The Little Ninja. And none of them will happen this summer. Even though I wanted and expected them to. And maybe I secretly fear that they won't happen next summer, either.

Walk, Ninja! For yourself, because walking is wonderful. But also for Mama, to ease her back muscles, stress, frustration and (secret) fears.

Noodle Ninja

To our great relief, The Little Ninja is a noodle fiend too. He seems to have inherited both my own love of pasta and his father's love of Asian-style noodles. (Really, though, how could he have survived otherwise?)

Despite refusing most of the things we (adults) eat, last week he polished off a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs with me, this week he's been gobbling down fried noodles with satay sauce with Papa and today he stole the noodles from my instant pho. Seriously. I wasn't finished, he had already eaten, and he stole all of the remaining noodles from my soup. I was left with a bit of broth.

He even wanted in on my Kraft Dinner and weiners last month. My husband won't go near KD, not having grown up with it, I guess, and when I consider that it's really just pasta, butter and cheese powder, I don't really blame him. And yet, I did grow up with it and while no longer addicted as I was in high school and university, I still find myself mildly anxious when I can't get it for a while. It's comfort food. And now The Little Ninja's hooked, too. I guess we don't need to worry about what to feed him in Canada. :)

So, to our Noodle family a true son of our blood, hearts, minds and stomachs was born. And The Little Ninja became a Noodle Ninja. :)

Positive

In an effort not to hate Holland quite so much, I've decided to make a list of the things I like about it.

What's great about Holland (IMO):

• Incredible cloudscapes
• Bike lanes, bike paths, bike routes, bike traffic signals and signs, and the bike culture in general.
• Public transport
• Vacation (all 5 mandatory weeks of it)
• Part-time employment
• Maternity care
• Government-subsidised childcare
• Kruidnoten, especially the chocolate-covered variety
• Very, very long days in the summer

 Anything else?

Helmet chronicles conclusion and follow-up

Right, so during my extended hiatus from blogging, The Little Ninja completed his helmet therapy. That was in January. We are VERY PLEASED with the result. The Little Ninja's head is no longer triangular/noticeably asymmetrical. Also, he can wear normal hats. And that's the real win, isn't it?

Back in black

Well, back, anyway. I'm always in black. Seriously. I'm one of those.

Anyway... Seeing that my last post was about the disappointment of my last trip to Canada, I figured that now would be a good time to start writing again, as our next trip is just a week away.

You will all (ha ha) undoubtedly be proud to note that I have, as resolved, implemented a few changes. We are indeed going for three weeks, but starting with a two-day stopover in Iceland to enjoy Reykjavik and relax in the Blue Lagoon before continuing on to Toronto.

We have also rented a cottage in Cottage Country (up north, in the lakey, woodsy tamed wilderness that is Haliburton) for a week in the middle. This might give us some time alone, or just merely move the frustration up north. (I still invited my family up to the cottage with us.)

We'll see. I'm hoping for the best. At the very worst, we'll still have a nice lake nearby to drown my parents swim in and all my favourite Canadian junk food on hand to eat away our frustrations enjoy.