Christmas stress

There was a time, not so very long ago, that Christmas was my favourite time of the year. And a Christmas in Canada was the be-all and end-all of Christmasses. When I first emigrated, I couldn't imagine missing even a single year. It wasn't until I was married that I had a Christmas anywhere else. We currently have a tentative agreement that we will go to Canada for Christmas every other year. The bitch of it is that my parents are divorced. So, obviously, we can only spend Christmas with one or the other. Back in the day this wasn't such an issue as they both lived in the same city and moving back and forth was easy - we could stay for a week, a day, an hour, whatever. Christmas eve and Christmas morning with my Mom, Christmas dinner with my Dad or vice versa. Now, however, there's a good three hour drive between them. A drive I'd really prefer to only make once. And this screws up the scheduling incredibly.

My parents, both Jedi Guilt Masters, somehow make me feel like shit no matter what I do. I realise that I can't please everyone, but why can't they realise that too? And suck it up. Yes, it's my 'fault' that I live so far away, but it wasn't my fault that my parents split up (ultimately causing this whole mess), or that my Mom moved to the back end of beyond (aggravating this whole mess). Yet I get all the shit. 

We pay thousands of euros and spend 12 hours traveling with a fidgety toddler, (8 hours in a plane with him on my lap, no less,) going clearly out of our way to spend the holidays there with them, then have to rent a car and drive another three hours to visit my mom, and still it's not good enough. Nobody appreciates the money and effort we fork out to do this for them. It's all about who will get us on Christmas. Seriously. It's just a day, people. A numbered square on the calendar. There is NO REASON AT ALL that we can't have a fan-frigging-tastic Christmas celebration on a DIFFERENT DAY. We don't go to church. We're not religious. What the hell difference does it make whether we see X parent on the 23rd or on the 25th or on the 28th? Call it Christmas whatever day it is, have a great time, and enjoy being all together. That's what it's about, isn't it?

Needless to say, my ideal image of Christmas in Canada is quickly eroding. Half the time it doesn't even snow anymore. And the last time we went at Christmas we only made it out of Europe because I am a very good, experienced, determined traveller (Really. I should tell you THAT story sometime). The snow kept almost everyone else wherever they were until after Christmas. And weather conditions like that are always a risk as well. Going to Canada at any time entails the constant stress of living in someone else's house and having to always be sociable and inclusive, the agreeing to see everyone because, hey, we're not there that often, dealing with an upset toddler whose schedule is out of whack (though I hope this will improve as he gets older). I used to go at Christmas because I couldn't imagine it any other way. Now I think it's mostly guilt forcing me back, because I DID decide to live in a different country. Will I ever live that down?

As you might expect from my rant above, I've come up with an alternative. An idea is growing in the back of my mind, one that my parents aren't going to like a bit: maybe we shouldn't go to Canada at Christmas at all. We can go in the summer. It's warmer, there's more to do, and no one cares which days we go where as long as both my parents get to see us. In fact, it would work out cheaper and FAR more convenient for us even to pay for them to come here, especially after this year, as The Little Ninja will then require a seat of his own. Also, as of January, we will have a car, so no one will have to rent one or suffer public transit. Then Mom can come one year, Dad can come the other, and WE don't have to go anywhere. They each get to see us at Christmas twice as often as they do now, and I don't have to stress as much (obviously this would still entail a substantial suitcase of stress because I am not a comfortable hostess, but I digress). The idea hasn't grown so big, yet, that I would consider mentioning it to my parents, but we'll see how the holidays go...