Seriously.
The almost two weeks that we went to Canada to visit my family amount overwhelmingly to the worst vacation ever.
We saw my folks. We saw family and friends. Everyone got to meet The Little Ninja. We even had nice weather and went to nice places. We survived the tiptoe dance on eggshells around my parents and the inevitable guilt trips for living so far away, not visiting often enough, not sending enough photos and any other perceived slights. I suppose it was a successful family visit.
But it was a horrible vacation.
Vacations are supposed to be relaxing. Isn't that the whole point? Living at my parents' houses for 12 days, while possibly enjoyable for them, was a nightmare for me. It was far more work than just being at home, as their houses are just not equipped and arranged as efficiently as ours. It was far more stressful because it's not home and there are unwritten, unspoken expectations and judgments about everything and whereas at home I can do what I want when not looking after The Little Ninja, that is just SO not the case there. There is NO REST. The Recyclist doesn't seem to conform to the whole 'make-yourself-at-home' policy, so he's hanging on my heels and nagging me to get up before I'm ready because he doesn't feel comfortable going and getting his own breakfast without me there. So I have to get up even earlier than normal. I have to look after The Little Ninja constantly and immediately. The grandparents don't OFFER to do anything and asking them to even feed The Little Ninja a bottle feels like an imposition. While I was hoping they would offer to babysit one evening so The Recyclist and I could go out for our first date since The Little Ninja was born, obviously nothing came of that. I don't know why I thought otherwise; they didn't offer to help with anything when they came to visit us here, either.
As any family visit is, the trip was packed with obligatory visits. Many of these meetings were arranged without our knowledge or input; we were only informed of them offhand. Like we should have known the extended family would be at my Dad's on Sunday and booked the time accordingly.
We somehow never got a chance to go to the mall alone - so my intended shopping trip was somewhat impeded. (The Little Ninja got wicked stuff but I seem to have mostly missed out. I'll be pushing the London trip in January with the Kiwi now in order to make up for lost shopping time. The poor Recyclist missed out completely.)
And I always find it stressful to spend an extended length of time with other people (more than 1 day with people other than my husband and son) because I just hold in all the frustration to keep the peace. I am just not a social type. I enjoy and require time alone. At home I get that. With my family? NEVER.
So it's probably no surprise that when the time comes to go home, I can't wait. I can't wait to get away from my family! Isn't that awful? I feel like an awful daughter even writing it. But seriously, by the time I leave I don't even ever want to go back. In time, that feeling changes and, of course, we do go back. But damn, I wish it could be more enjoyable.
We need more time alone.
We need days with NOTHING planned.
We need time by ourselves to go do stuff like shop.
I think we need to go for longer, much as I dread the idea.
Thus, a new resolution. Hold me to this! Next time we go to Canada (probably next summer), we will break up the trip to have some time alone on at least one mini-vacation away from my family. A good possibility would be 3-3-3-3-3-3-3. That's three weeks, with 2 three-day sessions with each parent and 3 three-day periods of vacation in between. I doubt it'll actually work out that way, but it looks like a good ideal to strive towards. 12 days of obligation separated by 9 days of freedom. Because I want to like going to Canada. I want to enjoy spending time with my family. and hopefully this is the answer. Because I don't ever want a 'vacation' like that again.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Disappointment at the Zoo
I love the Toronto Zoo. I always have. It is - bar none - my favourite attraction in the GTA. Yet I hadn't managed to get there for several years. Before today. Now, with The Little Ninja in tow, it was clear that we would have to go this time, much to my own delight.
Perhaps my expectations were too high. I had, after all, been idealising the place in my head for a good 10 years. I had been looking forward to the zoo since I planned the trip to Canada in the first place. I had even checked out the website to see what special animals would be on display. I guess I had set myself up for disappointment.
My Dad might possibly have mentioned at some point that the zoo wasn't doing all that well and the city was considering privatising it (in my opinion a good idea, especially after my experiences) and that there was some protest about the elephants in the Canadian climate, but I had waved away these minor points as they obviously could not possibly affect my wondrous zoo experience.
Well. What a frickin disappointment. Maybe the zoo isn't doing that well, but I paid $23/person PLUS $10 parking and I damn well expected to see lots of animals. We didn't see any cheetahs, though I am willing to believe there is one somewhere in the massive enclosure, though before today I would have bet on more. But there was only one lonely giraffe, one rhino, one lion, one tiger, one antelope - it was like the zoo in Madagascar - one sad example of each of those fantastic animals. And the pride of the zoo, the polar bears, were in the far enclosure where you could barely see them off on the grass, rather than in the viewing enclosure.
I understand that it's no longer high season. That was clear in the many empty kiosks we passed, the closed restaurants and the shortened opening hours. But I paid full admission and I expect to see animals! The pavilions closed at 3:30 and the whole zoo closed at 4:30. We didn't even get to see the special sting ray exhibit. Or a bunch of other things, but the zoo is really, really big and I didn't really expect to see the other things. The polar bears were not really on display. But my biggest disappointment was the lack of some animals. Those mainstays of zoo visits, lions and tigers and bears; oh my, what a disgrace. Come on, Toronto; it is not fair to the animals or the visitors to have just one of these animals. Either find some more or send them off to another zoo to at least have some company. I don't need to walk for an hour to get around the Africa area of the zoo just to see one lion, one giraffe, one antelope and not find any cheetahs at all. (The cheetahs are my favourite...)
That said, the elephants were still there (at least two) and the hippos (also two) were fun to watch. If, however, as my Dad reports, the elephants are to be sent to San Francisco or somewhere else warm, only the hippos will remain as a positive point. And that's not good enough. Toronto Zoo used to be one of the best in the world. And I don't think that's all in my head. I fervently hope that the city sells it to some zoo operator that knows its business because there is no reason (especially at those prices) for the zoo not to be a top-rate attraction!
Perhaps my expectations were too high. I had, after all, been idealising the place in my head for a good 10 years. I had been looking forward to the zoo since I planned the trip to Canada in the first place. I had even checked out the website to see what special animals would be on display. I guess I had set myself up for disappointment.
My Dad might possibly have mentioned at some point that the zoo wasn't doing all that well and the city was considering privatising it (in my opinion a good idea, especially after my experiences) and that there was some protest about the elephants in the Canadian climate, but I had waved away these minor points as they obviously could not possibly affect my wondrous zoo experience.
Well. What a frickin disappointment. Maybe the zoo isn't doing that well, but I paid $23/person PLUS $10 parking and I damn well expected to see lots of animals. We didn't see any cheetahs, though I am willing to believe there is one somewhere in the massive enclosure, though before today I would have bet on more. But there was only one lonely giraffe, one rhino, one lion, one tiger, one antelope - it was like the zoo in Madagascar - one sad example of each of those fantastic animals. And the pride of the zoo, the polar bears, were in the far enclosure where you could barely see them off on the grass, rather than in the viewing enclosure.
I understand that it's no longer high season. That was clear in the many empty kiosks we passed, the closed restaurants and the shortened opening hours. But I paid full admission and I expect to see animals! The pavilions closed at 3:30 and the whole zoo closed at 4:30. We didn't even get to see the special sting ray exhibit. Or a bunch of other things, but the zoo is really, really big and I didn't really expect to see the other things. The polar bears were not really on display. But my biggest disappointment was the lack of some animals. Those mainstays of zoo visits, lions and tigers and bears; oh my, what a disgrace. Come on, Toronto; it is not fair to the animals or the visitors to have just one of these animals. Either find some more or send them off to another zoo to at least have some company. I don't need to walk for an hour to get around the Africa area of the zoo just to see one lion, one giraffe, one antelope and not find any cheetahs at all. (The cheetahs are my favourite...)
That said, the elephants were still there (at least two) and the hippos (also two) were fun to watch. If, however, as my Dad reports, the elephants are to be sent to San Francisco or somewhere else warm, only the hippos will remain as a positive point. And that's not good enough. Toronto Zoo used to be one of the best in the world. And I don't think that's all in my head. I fervently hope that the city sells it to some zoo operator that knows its business because there is no reason (especially at those prices) for the zoo not to be a top-rate attraction!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Adding to the arsenal
Oh joy. The Little Ninja has added new weapons to his arsenal.
He was born talented, with an incredible ability he developed in utero - that of making precisely targeted strikes with his hands and feet in particular, though I have been gifted with a head butt a time or two when going in for a kiss. But recently The Little Ninja has developed new talents with his new equipment: the helmet and his barely visible tooth. And I tell you, both of them take you completely by surprise.
My experience with the head butting should have taught me better, I suppose, but I just can't help wanting to kiss and hug The Little Ninja. He's just so cute! But with his helmet, he has learned to turn his head just so - the way you would if avoiding a kiss, in fact - that the edge of the helmet strikes my nose at a remarkable velocity and strength. I back away in tears.
And to go with his piranha jaws, which he uses to clamp down on anything he can get his hands on, particularly fingers, he now has a tiny tooth peeking through the gums, like a little sliver of glass that you don't notice until it's sliced into you and you're bleeding all over the floor. Yes, that's what Mommy tastes like once you get through the outer rind.
To add to this, he is growing skilled in using one of the weapons he has had all along: his nails. As he becomes more coordinated he's learning all kinds of tricks. A new favourite is raking his nails down my face. Or trying to gouge my eyes out. Or just see if he can rip a section of my cheek from my face. You know, all in the name of fun and exploration. Of course, if I were to cut The Little Ninja's nails more often, maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be able to scratch for like a minute or two. I don't know about other babies, but The Little Ninja's nails grow in FAST. I think if he stopped wriggling around and held still I could probably see them growing. Like little exacto knives sliding out on the ends of his little fingers. And just as dangerous.
He was born talented, with an incredible ability he developed in utero - that of making precisely targeted strikes with his hands and feet in particular, though I have been gifted with a head butt a time or two when going in for a kiss. But recently The Little Ninja has developed new talents with his new equipment: the helmet and his barely visible tooth. And I tell you, both of them take you completely by surprise.
My experience with the head butting should have taught me better, I suppose, but I just can't help wanting to kiss and hug The Little Ninja. He's just so cute! But with his helmet, he has learned to turn his head just so - the way you would if avoiding a kiss, in fact - that the edge of the helmet strikes my nose at a remarkable velocity and strength. I back away in tears.
And to go with his piranha jaws, which he uses to clamp down on anything he can get his hands on, particularly fingers, he now has a tiny tooth peeking through the gums, like a little sliver of glass that you don't notice until it's sliced into you and you're bleeding all over the floor. Yes, that's what Mommy tastes like once you get through the outer rind.
To add to this, he is growing skilled in using one of the weapons he has had all along: his nails. As he becomes more coordinated he's learning all kinds of tricks. A new favourite is raking his nails down my face. Or trying to gouge my eyes out. Or just see if he can rip a section of my cheek from my face. You know, all in the name of fun and exploration. Of course, if I were to cut The Little Ninja's nails more often, maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be able to scratch for like a minute or two. I don't know about other babies, but The Little Ninja's nails grow in FAST. I think if he stopped wriggling around and held still I could probably see them growing. Like little exacto knives sliding out on the ends of his little fingers. And just as dangerous.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Off and running
Today, for the first time since... wait, let me think... since I was six weeks pregnant with The Little Ninja, I went running. :D
If you could call it that. Well, I'm going to call it that, anyway.
It wasn't the energizing, easy 5K I used to do all the time. I only did about half that and it was far from easy. I ran for 60 paces and then walked for 60. But it was still energizing. I mean, I was keeled over trying to catch my breath at the end, but I felt good. OK, I wasn't THAT out of breath. I did some stretching and had a shower and my energy was way up until I sat down to work and fell asleep. Seriously. I guess it took more out of me than I thought.
After rereading the line I was working on for about the tenth time, I went to lie down for a nap. Really, there's only so much you can do. So I napped for an hour and then it was time to go pick up The Little Ninja from daycare (another 4K, but just walking this time).
So I walked 8.5K and walked/jogged/ran another 2 or 2.5. I'll have to recharge my Garmin so I can keep better track of my running. Because this was not a one-time event. I'm back world! Off and running!
If you could call it that. Well, I'm going to call it that, anyway.
It wasn't the energizing, easy 5K I used to do all the time. I only did about half that and it was far from easy. I ran for 60 paces and then walked for 60. But it was still energizing. I mean, I was keeled over trying to catch my breath at the end, but I felt good. OK, I wasn't THAT out of breath. I did some stretching and had a shower and my energy was way up until I sat down to work and fell asleep. Seriously. I guess it took more out of me than I thought.
After rereading the line I was working on for about the tenth time, I went to lie down for a nap. Really, there's only so much you can do. So I napped for an hour and then it was time to go pick up The Little Ninja from daycare (another 4K, but just walking this time).
So I walked 8.5K and walked/jogged/ran another 2 or 2.5. I'll have to recharge my Garmin so I can keep better track of my running. Because this was not a one-time event. I'm back world! Off and running!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
The Helmet Chronicles: progress and setback
So you know how we were having so much trouble getting The Little Ninja to sleep with his helmet on at night? We totally solved that.
It seemed that the problem was mostly that he didn't want the helmet back on after his bath. My brilliant solution: bath him in the morning and since the helmet doesn't seem to bother him once it's been on for a bit, we now just NEVER TAKE IT OFF. At least, not in the evening before bed. And you guys, it worked like a charm! He sleeps! With the helmet!
And you know what else?! The helmet guy measured his head at the appointment on Saturday and IT'S ALREADY IMPROVING! Seriously, after just two weeks, and those not even full-time! Yay!
So obviously, after good news like that and much applause for my fabulous solution to the sleeping problem, it all had to go wrong.
The Little Ninja has a fever. And since he needs to be able to get rid of the heat, we have to keep the helmet off until his temperature returns to normal. So far, the helmet's been off for two days already. 2 DAYS!
Two days of mostly sleeping, on his back, no less, possibly making his flat spot worse! Not to mention that the poor little sucker obviously doesn't feel well. And that he isn't allowed at the daycare with a fever so I'm babysitting and not working. I hope the fever goes away soon, so The Little Ninja feels better and we can put the helmet back on. It doesn't work lying on the shelf, after all.
It seemed that the problem was mostly that he didn't want the helmet back on after his bath. My brilliant solution: bath him in the morning and since the helmet doesn't seem to bother him once it's been on for a bit, we now just NEVER TAKE IT OFF. At least, not in the evening before bed. And you guys, it worked like a charm! He sleeps! With the helmet!
And you know what else?! The helmet guy measured his head at the appointment on Saturday and IT'S ALREADY IMPROVING! Seriously, after just two weeks, and those not even full-time! Yay!
So obviously, after good news like that and much applause for my fabulous solution to the sleeping problem, it all had to go wrong.
The Little Ninja has a fever. And since he needs to be able to get rid of the heat, we have to keep the helmet off until his temperature returns to normal. So far, the helmet's been off for two days already. 2 DAYS!
Two days of mostly sleeping, on his back, no less, possibly making his flat spot worse! Not to mention that the poor little sucker obviously doesn't feel well. And that he isn't allowed at the daycare with a fever so I'm babysitting and not working. I hope the fever goes away soon, so The Little Ninja feels better and we can put the helmet back on. It doesn't work lying on the shelf, after all.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Aaaand it's fall.
After a stunning close to the season with 31C on Saturday, fall came crashing in later Saturday night, with a violent thunderstorm. And we've had cool, rainy weather ever since. Yes folks, that was it. Two nice weekends and it's over.
Fall in the Netherlands is not like fall was where I lived in Canada. There the days stay sunny, for the most part, but the air begins to take on a crispness, especially at night, that turns the leaves bright colours. Here fall is really the rainy season, though there are those who might complain that that's summer. Fall weather, more than the rain, is known here for changing quickly and violently. It's not unusual to go through half-hour cycles of hard rain and then sun, with strong gusting wind the entire day. The temperature is cool, which is good because otherwise you'd be too hot in your rain suit, which you need for the gusting rain. Normal umbrellas are useless here. They break with the first use.
During the last storm, I walked through an umbrella graveyard. Broken, discarded umbrellas littered the square, metal skeletons poking out of garbage cans and heaped beside them; others lying forlornly along the side of the road, bent into tortured shapes only hinting at the violence that destroyed them.
But I digress. The point here is that fall has arrived, bringing its stormy, changing weather. We, however, are off to Canada in a few weeks to enjoy the pleasant fall weather there. And to introduce The Little Ninja to my family, but timing is everything. A little less rain and a few more leaves changing colour. Welcome autumn!
Fall in the Netherlands is not like fall was where I lived in Canada. There the days stay sunny, for the most part, but the air begins to take on a crispness, especially at night, that turns the leaves bright colours. Here fall is really the rainy season, though there are those who might complain that that's summer. Fall weather, more than the rain, is known here for changing quickly and violently. It's not unusual to go through half-hour cycles of hard rain and then sun, with strong gusting wind the entire day. The temperature is cool, which is good because otherwise you'd be too hot in your rain suit, which you need for the gusting rain. Normal umbrellas are useless here. They break with the first use.
During the last storm, I walked through an umbrella graveyard. Broken, discarded umbrellas littered the square, metal skeletons poking out of garbage cans and heaped beside them; others lying forlornly along the side of the road, bent into tortured shapes only hinting at the violence that destroyed them.
But I digress. The point here is that fall has arrived, bringing its stormy, changing weather. We, however, are off to Canada in a few weeks to enjoy the pleasant fall weather there. And to introduce The Little Ninja to my family, but timing is everything. A little less rain and a few more leaves changing colour. Welcome autumn!
Monday, September 5, 2011
The Helmet Chronicles: Success and failure
After the success of the first week, building up the hours during the day that The Little Ninja wore his helmet, we thought we were in the clear. The Little Ninja seemed not to even notice the helmet, though he did sweat a lot. This weekend we decided it was time to extend helmet time from all day to include night.
What a freakin nightmare.
It seems he can't sleep at night with his helmet on. Or at least, that's what we deduced from the hours he spent screaming when we put him to bed. No amount of soothing, cuddling or distracting toys were any help. He rubbed his eyes, he yawned, and threw a tantrum because he couldn't sleep. For HOURS. I know the helmet guy said we were supposed to be tough and not, under any circumstances, take the helmet off when he was crying. That we had to show The Little Ninja that the helmet was there to stay and that crying would not make us take it off. He also emphasised that the longer the helmet is worn, the more effect it will have. With this haunting our thoughts, we made it through hours of screaming. But there is a limit, people. At a certain point you start questioning whether a shapely head is worth all this pain and anguish.
We totally caved.
I mean, the helmet guy isn't pulling his hair out listening to the screaming and going out of his mind trying to soothe The Little Ninja. No, that would be me. And The Recyclist. So we took off the helmet, dried off The Little Ninja's head, which by that time was totally soaked, walked around to sooth him, and then laid the little guy back in his bed. He was asleep in seconds. Seriously.
We tried it again the next night and the next night. Same thing. We are all going crazy. We go back to the helmet place next Saturday for the first check-up/adjustment. Are we going to have to tell the helmet guy that it just isn't working? That we've failed already?
What a freakin nightmare.
It seems he can't sleep at night with his helmet on. Or at least, that's what we deduced from the hours he spent screaming when we put him to bed. No amount of soothing, cuddling or distracting toys were any help. He rubbed his eyes, he yawned, and threw a tantrum because he couldn't sleep. For HOURS. I know the helmet guy said we were supposed to be tough and not, under any circumstances, take the helmet off when he was crying. That we had to show The Little Ninja that the helmet was there to stay and that crying would not make us take it off. He also emphasised that the longer the helmet is worn, the more effect it will have. With this haunting our thoughts, we made it through hours of screaming. But there is a limit, people. At a certain point you start questioning whether a shapely head is worth all this pain and anguish.
We totally caved.
I mean, the helmet guy isn't pulling his hair out listening to the screaming and going out of his mind trying to soothe The Little Ninja. No, that would be me. And The Recyclist. So we took off the helmet, dried off The Little Ninja's head, which by that time was totally soaked, walked around to sooth him, and then laid the little guy back in his bed. He was asleep in seconds. Seriously.
We tried it again the next night and the next night. Same thing. We are all going crazy. We go back to the helmet place next Saturday for the first check-up/adjustment. Are we going to have to tell the helmet guy that it just isn't working? That we've failed already?
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