Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Big Guns

I've brought out the big guns against post-partum recovery... or against non-recovery, I suppose. That is, against the body that just is not springing back into its pre-pregnancy, fit, maiden glory.

I bought shape-correcting underwear.

One pair of mid-thigh to high-waist reshapers and a hooker bra. No more droopy boobs for me. I look like a porn star. And my belly appears deceptively flat. Now all I need is a plastic dress, some bubble gum and hair spray for my tease and I'll have some income on the side. Or on the back, or front. Or standing. Not really my choice. Just have to keep the lights out. I'm not quite as shapely as I may at first appear, when my body is freed from its shaping silhouette. But then, I'm no expert; maybe all hookers are the same.

Still. Even if I'm not quite as stunning as I feel, I feel like I look good. And it's been a damned long time since I felt that way. So yay hooker bra! Yay shaping undies.

Really, I should have done this sooner.

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