A key piece of information that I somehow never came across while I was pregnant was just how long it might take for my body to spring back to the way it was before I got pregnant. It's been almost 6 months since I gave birth and I'm starting to think I'll never completely recover.
I gained 23kg (50 lbs) when I was pregnant and, not being terribly large to start with, I stretched a long way to make space for The Little Ninja, who was 4kg (almost 9 lbs) at birth. I'd show you the pictures but I can't bear to look at them. Seriously, I was huge. Anyway, I lost the majority of the weight pretty quickly but the last 5kg are not budging. I walk 24km/week just taking The Little Ninja to daycare. I eat next to nothing and none of it makes a difference! I'm horrified and frustrated. I will never fit into my old clothes.
But my shape is just the start. I seem to have developed post-pregnancy mask. I swear I didn't have any odd pigmentation during my entire pregnancy. But then after I gave birth I was given an iron IV because I had lost a lot of blood. And I turned out to have a severe reaction to that: a horrible itchy rash that lasted 6 weeks and I couldn't take anything useful because I hadn't yet given up on breastfeeding. The rash, though it no longer itches, somehow turned from red to brown and is still visible as pigment spots all around my ankles and my midrif as well as colouring my entire blob of belly. It's not pretty. And the stickers that were on my skin to hold the monitors in place during labour (and there were a whole bunch) - the outlines also turned brown. I was out in the sun the other day and now I have pigmented areas on my forehead and upper lip. These aren't terribly noticeable to others, but I can tell it's not just a tan. The rest of me, though - It doesn't bother me not to wear a bikini. But not to even be able to manage shorts and a tank top? I keep hoping that if I rub at it long enough the brown skin will rub off and leave me with my normal skin underneath, but this has not yet shown results.
And then there's the scar. Who ever heard of a scar hurting?! I mean, I've seen some pretty gruesome scars in my day but I never heard that they could still hurt after the wound healed. Even the scar I have from surgery a couple of years ago - it never hurt. Never. But my baby scar? It hurts! Not all the time, granted. But every now and then. And the physio totally doesn't help. I know babies can mess up people's sex lives. I didn't think I'd be celibate the rest of my life because I had a baby. But until my scar stops hurting, it's just not going to happen. Boo.
I also physically can't run yet, still have 'roids and have developed a weak bladder. And for some reason I get really stiff now too. Especially my feet. Weird. Anyway.
I didn't sign up for all this. I mean, I expected that I'd have a bit of a belly afterwards, but with my active lifestyle and healthy diet, I figured I'd still be back to my prepregnancy self within a few months without really having to work at it. I could even accept the whole 'second 9 months' thing - that it takes 9 months to have the baby and another 9 to recover. But I'm not seeing improvement. The belly I'll get rid of eventually, I'm sure. But the discolouration? The pain? My love life? Will they ever recover?
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